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Breaking Rapport

Breaking Rapport
You don’t want to have rapport all the time. There are definitely
times when you want to break rapport - for example, when you
have to go to another appointment, to get on with your work, or
simply to get away from someone who is taking up too much of
your time! If it is time to leave them, start mismatching the other
person to whatever degree is necessary. They will usually pick
that up, and ‘get the message’. And if they don’t. . . simply say,
using the Leveler physiology, “I have to go now”. Subtly push
both hands to one side, and walk away. This is a good reason for
holding meetings in the other person’s office; it is easier for you to
choose when to leave!
In sales it is a good idea to break rapport just before the other per-
son signs a binding contract. Momentarily break rapport so that
they are committed to the contract, rather than to you, the sales
person. You can say, “I just have to make a phone call”, or find an
excuse to leave the room so that they are signing it on their own.
At other times you may break rapport inadvertently. For example,
a little word which breaks rapport very quickly is the word but.
“I totally agree with what you are saying, but . . . ”
“I would like to buy your product, but . . .
The but negates what has gone before. You are really communicat-
ing: “I don’t agree with it”, or, “I don’t want to buy it, and here
come my objections.” Instead of tacking on these ‘but’ after-
thoughts, try using the word ‘and’ instead. Although you may
have to rearrange your sentence structure, you will be maintain-
ing rapport.

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