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Category — NLP Hypnosis

Spatial Anchoring

Spatial Anchoring
When you consistently do the same activity in the same place on
the stage or area you are presenting from, then the people in the
audience will make a connection between your position and that
activity. For example, if you only tell stories and anecdotes when
you are sitting down, that will mean that when you sit down, the
audience knows what to expect: “Ah, time for a story.”
This is another example of how we generalise our experience.
Because this will be happening whether or not the people in the
group are consciously aware of it, it means that you can create
appropriate states in the group, so that they are ready for what is
coming next, without having to tell them. Making a connection
between a position on the stage and what you are doing is called
spatial anchoring in NLP.
When training or presenting you can deliberately set up anchors
with certain states in the audience. Sitting on a stool gives you one
more thing you can use as an anchor or trigger for a certain state.
For example, when seeking interaction with the audience, asking
for questions, or comments about what they have discovered dur-
ing an exercise, you can do it from downstage centre (DC). (We
will use the theatre convention for describing these positions from
the presenter’s point of view (Figure 12.1). Down centre, for the
audience, is at the front of the stage in the middle.) After a while,
for that audience, asking questions and making comments will
become associated with standing in that spot. As soon as you
stand there, it means you want some interaction with the audi-
ence. And stand there only when you are talking with people in
the group.

April 6, 2009   No Comments

Personal charisma

Personal charisma
One manifestation of Ha breathing is an increase in personal
charisma. You may have thought that charisma was something
people either have or they don’t. So what do we mean by
charisma? You may have encountered certain people who set you
thinking: “There’s something about that person. They have an
‘aura’ around them, a lot of personal magnetism.” That is
charisma. As soon as you are near them, you are aware of their
presence in an almost tangible way. When they enter a room it is
almost as though their presence gets there a few seconds before
their body. Have you ever met anyone like that?
You can actually increase your own personal charisma through
breathing. It is a learnable skill. What you may call a person’s
presence, their magnetism, their aura, or their personal charisma,
comes from having more of the kind of energy we have been talk-
ing about. By increasing the amount of energy you have in your
body, and by moving it out from your body into the space around
you, you will increase your own personal magnetism.
You have probably experienced this energy flowing out from peo-
ple. Have you experienced the sensation that someone is staring
at you from behind? Maybe you had the feeling their eyes were
boring into you. Perhaps you felt compelled to turn around and
look for the source of that sensation. You turned around and you
looked straight at them, as if you already knew where they were.
So how did you know who was looking at you? What let you
know that they were looking at you?
As soon as you start paying someone a lot of attention, your
energy follows that attention, and the person whom you are
focusing on unconsciously picks it up. They have the feeling
someone is looking at them, and they turn round. Their uncon-
scious mind already knows where the source of that attention is,
so they look straight at you. This is a similar process to projecting
your energy, increasing your charisma or personal magnetism.
The difference is you have more energy available, and you are
putting your attention into more of the space around you, and
now there is more for other people to become aware of.

April 6, 2009   No Comments

Working with Energy

Working with Energy
In both presenting and training, one major difference in the way
we work with groups is the way we use energy. Working with
energy is a powerful way to change what happens within groups,
and because you have greater awareness, you can be more flexible
in what you do, and have more fun!
Every living creature has an energy field, which varies in intensity
over time, but is always present to some degree. You can measure
it with scientific instruments, and with Kirlian photography you
can show that the state someone is in influences the energy field
around them.
Have you ever met someone, and thought, “This person has a
good energy. It feels great to be in their company”. Or, alterna-
tively, “Hey, what’s with this person? I don’t feel comfortable
around them”. Maybe you avoided them for no apparent reason,
even though you didn’t know them. Have you ever gone into a
room and had the feeling, “Something happened here before I
came in”? It is as though you have picked up some ‘bad vibes’, or
sensed an ‘atmosphere’, because people had been arguing or
fighting there. Alternatively you may have entered a room and
sensed a feeling of well-being, relief, relaxation, or ‘coming home’.
Immediately your state changed, and you felt uplifted.
These types of experiences are the effects of your energy field
interacting with other people’s energy fields, and of the qualities
of the energy that has been created in that place. Whenever a
group comes together it generates its own ‘group energy field’.
Generally speaking most people aren’t consciously aware of the
energy emanating from others or from a particular physical space.
Yet, unconsciously, you pick it up. One reason your mood or your
state changes is because you are now interacting with other peo-
ple’s energy. Presenting Magically
Controlling energy
This chapter is about exploring the energy you have in your own
body, and the energy you put out, which affects other people. You
will learn how to control your energy, the energy in the space
around you, and the energy within the group to whom you are
presenting.
So if you are already aware that you can instantly pick up the
energy in a room, and that when people enter an energy field their
mood changes, then what if you could set up the energy in the
room the way you wanted it? What if you could customise the
energy, the kind of feeling in the room, that would be most con-
ducive to what you want to do there? For example, if you’re
having a sales presentation, or presenting some new business
ideas, then what if you could set up the energy in the room for a
state of curiosity, interest, or excitement, say, so that as soon as
someone comes in they begin to feel curious, interested, or
excited, even before you start your presentation? For a personal
growth or self-development training, exploring group processes,
you could establish an energy that produces a feeling of safety,
transformation and change. Immediately people walk through the
door, their mood begins to alter: they feel safe, and begin to
change and transform themselves, simply because the energy in
the room is in harmony with the results you want to create with
those people. That would that be useful, wouldn’t it?
Using energy means you are working on an almost invisible level
with the people in your particular group. Using all of your train-
ing and presentation skills, you will learn to control the level of
energy at the same time. And you will be able to do it whether or
not the people in your group know this consciously. They may be
aware at one level, perhaps just noticing a certain atmosphere in
the room, or that the atmosphere has changed.
Looking after your own energy
It is essential to maintain your own level of energy. Once you
know how to use this way of working with energy with others,
you can also use it for yourself. When you have plenty of energy
you can avoid those situations you probably had in the past
where your energy ran low, you started tiring, and thinking:
Energy
“I don’t have enough energy to do any more.”
“I would be able to do a better job if I had more energy.”
Many people have experienced this. What you are doing doesn’t
have to be physically strenuous. It could be dealing with other
people, or anything demanding your attention or keeping you
thinking. If you are a trainer or a presenter it might be:
“I’ve been presenting all day, and I’m exhausted.”
“I’ve been training for five hours, and I am now flagging a little.”
“It’s been one thing after another, and I’m whacked!”
Other sources of energy
We’re going to teach you how to maintain your energy level, so
that when you are presenting in front of an audience, instead of
using up your own energy, you can use the energy that is natu-
rally all around you to keep going all day. Then, at the end of the
day, rather than feeling tired, you’ll feel as though you have more
energy than when you started. It means that when you get home
you’ll have energy for doing other things, rather than collapsing
in a chair, sighing, “Phew! I’m wiped out”.
Energy work exercises
The next three exercises provide direct experience of using energy,
so that you will know more about how to work with the energy
systems in your body. We also want to teach you about focusing
your attention, because where you focus your attention has a dra-
matic effect on both the energy in your body, and your physical
balance.
These exercises demonstrate that where you put your mental
attention actually changes your physical body. They are examples
of the mind-body connection. We firmly believe that the mind and
the body are intimately connected, that they act as a system, and
that one way into that system is through what you are paying
attention to.
Do these exercises with a partner to explore how this mind-body connec-
tion works. Read through all the instruction and study the photographs
first, so that you will be able to safely do the same thing with your partner.
Controlling energy
This chapter is about exploring the energy you have in your own
body, and the energy you put out, which affects other people. You
will learn how to control your energy, the energy in the space
around you, and the energy within the group to whom you are
presenting.
So if you are already aware that you can instantly pick up the
energy in a room, and that when people enter an energy field their
mood changes, then what if you could set up the energy in the
room the way you wanted it? What if you could customise the
energy, the kind of feeling in the room, that would be most con-
ducive to what you want to do there? For example, if you’re
having a sales presentation, or presenting some new business
ideas, then what if you could set up the energy in the room for a
state of curiosity, interest, or excitement, say, so that as soon as
someone comes in they begin to feel curious, interested, or
excited, even before you start your presentation? For a personal
growth or self-development training, exploring group processes,
you could establish an energy that produces a feeling of safety,
transformation and change. Immediately people walk through the
door, their mood begins to alter: they feel safe, and begin to
change and transform themselves, simply because the energy in
the room is in harmony with the results you want to create with
those people. That would that be useful, wouldn’t it?
Using energy means you are working on an almost invisible level
with the people in your particular group. Using all of your train-
ing and presentation skills, you will learn to control the level of
energy at the same time. And you will be able to do it whether or
not the people in your group know this consciously. They may be
aware at one level, perhaps just noticing a certain atmosphere in
the room, or that the atmosphere has changed.

April 6, 2009   No Comments

Harvesting the Learnings

Harvesting the Learnings
Before you let go of that event, and everything that it triggered in
you afterwards, you need to get the rest of the learning from it.
Once you have done that, your unconscious mind will be willing
to let the fear go. So looking back from the safety of now, to that
time 15 minutes before the event, with the resources and the
understanding you now have, knowing that you survived, then
you can simply go through that event again, consciously or
unconsciously learning from it, and continue to grow as a person,
as you come forward in time . . . until you are again in the present.
Your memory of that situation will now be different. Remember
that every time you revisit a memory you change it in some way.
Time Line Therapy techniques allow you to benefit from how
your unconscious mind works. Once you have all of the learning
from the event, the fear disappears. Your unconscious mind will
recode the memory, allowing it to become a positive memory that
you can use to build a new version of your future from that point
on.
This may be a quite novel way of thinking for you. It may seem
simplistic, possibly too easy. Maybe you have a limiting belief that
change has to be difficult, requires a great deal of struggle and
take ages . . .
When you think about changing your experience, you will know
that this process makes some kind of sense, because you have
done something similar many times already. Certain events in
your past you have coded as negative, and others as more positive
experiences:
You made those decisions. And you can change them.
This is true because what you think determines what happens in
your model of the world.
When you use hindsight to illuminate some aspect of your past,
there is no need to hang on to any unnecessary emotional bag-
gage. You can let all that go. It is often said that we have 20/20
vision when it comes to hindsight. You can make useful changes
by recoding those memories as learning opportunities, and then
your unconscious mind will revise your experience in the light of
what you know now.

April 6, 2009   No Comments

Being Yourself

Being Yourself
When first presenting, many presenters think, “It is not OK to be
myself!” The more presenting we did, the more we realised that
we got the best results when we were spontaneously being who
we are, rather than doing any pretending. In any kind of training
or presentation, being truly yourself is more than enough. In fact:
Being you is all you’ll ever need.
Most people need to let out more of who they really are. The more
of you that is available to the audience, the more they will be able
to connect and bond with you, and feel comfortable with you.
Some relevant self-disclosure lets the audience get to know you as
a person, rather than as a disembodied source of information. But
this does not mean you have to reveal all of your private life to the
audience. It means that you have to remove the barriers, so that
the true you can emerge - the lively, spontaneous, playful, ener-
getic self that you really are.
I Remember in the previous chapter what happened in Exercise 5
where you silently matched the other person. When you have rap-
port with an audience, they will be in the same state as you. If you
are agitated, or stressed, your audience will also start feeling that,
but they won’t know why. If you are balanced, calm, and OK
about being yourself, they will feel balanced, calm, and OK about
being themselves. Everything is then going to be much easier.
Fearful or comfortable?
If you have any fears about presenting, then the next thing is for
you to let them go. First, you need to find out where you are right
now on that score.
Of course, you may have no fear at all. Not everyone experiences
fear about training or presenting. They never learned how to be
fearful, so they calmly carry on presenting, totally balanced and
comfortable.
You need to differentiate between feeling fearful and feeling
excited. It is quite normal for even the most seasoned presenter to
feel the rush of adrenalin just before they go on stage. And this
helps them put more fire into their presentation or training. If you
were totally relaxed or laid back, it might be difficult to impart
any enthusiasm for your message and motivate anyone else.

April 6, 2009   No Comments

Communicating with Misrnatchers

Communicating with Misrnatchers
A mismatcher is someone who disagrees with everything you say,
on principle. The term, polarity responder is also used. Often you
find that teenagers, in the process of asserting their own identity,
take on a mismatching role - possibly so that they know they are
deciding what to do, rather than have anyone else telling them.
Sometimes this trait continues into adult life. These people will do
the exact opposite of what you ask, or disagree with anything you
say - on principle.
The best way to build rapport with someone who mismatches is
to match them with your physiology and utilise their words. You
take what they say, and put a polarity twist in it. With a deter-
mined mismatcher, you could say, “I don’t think you will agree
with me on this”. And then add “But. . . ” and say what you
thought. They would probably respond, “Well, actually, no, I do”,
because they would want to mismatch you.
Once you have identified someone as a mismatcher, it becomes
easy to communicate with them. You just need to frame things in
this way:
“I don’t think you will believe this. But . . . ”
“I don’t know that you will want to do this, but . . . ”
With children you could say:
“I don’t suppose you want to go to bed yet, do you?”
“No bed for you tonight!” Presenting Magically
Consider your voice tonality as you say these sentences. You
could use a tone of disbelief: “You can’t do that”, so that you will
get, “Oh, yes, I can!” In which case you are helping them to get
where they want to go anyway.
Embedded commands
Within any sentence, you can emphasise, or tonally mark out, any
commands embedded in it. The commands in the sentences above
are the verbs: believe, do, go to bed. You can use this in presenting
and training by putting emphasis on what you want the audience
to do. You are giving the command wrapped up or embedded in a
longer sentence, so that it communicates more to the unconscious
mind. In that way it is more likely to create compliance.
People use embedded commands all the time. In the following
examples the embedded commands are underlined:
“I don’t know whether you want to come to this training
course, but if you do, you need to book now.”
People often do this negatively without noticing. For example,
they say:
“I’m not going to put up with this any longer.”
“Don’t forget to call me.”
“The training room is down the corridor; you can’t miss it.”
The emphasis is on the opposite of what is wanted. Remember,
the brain deals with negatives only after it has processed the posi-
tive command.
You may find it instructive to explore how embedded commands
are used in this book. This is one of the secrets that has been in full
view all the time!
Meetings with mismatchers
In meetings, no matter what ideas you come up with,
mismatchers tend to present reasons why they won’t work. They
will see the downside of everything. Alternatively, if you say
Rapport
something won’t work, they will come up with some reasons why
it will.
In fact, this is a useful role in the group, especially if everyone else
is very positive; you do need to check out possible obstructions,
hazards and pitfalls. Mismatching is a useful skill to have, as long
as it is handled productively. If it is happening continually
throughout a meeting, ultimately nothing gets done. Once you
have identified a mismatcher, limit their input to a specific time in
the meeting. Frame this by explaining to them that during the
meeting they have a special job to do:
“Because you have this remarkable skill of finding out the little
things that may prevent something from working, which could
affect the success of the project, I want you to let us know what
all those things are in the last five minutes of the meeting. Until
then, all I want you to do is just listen and note them down.”
They will then very likely say, “Oh, great. Thanks”, because you
are acknowledging them, rather than trying to shut them up. And
they will cooperate because you are utilising their particular skill,
which other people in the group don’t have. This will completely
transform your meetings, and your projects will progress. By flip-
ping the communication the other way, everything becomes
easier.

April 6, 2009   No Comments