Vample Blog - Self Improvement, NLP Hypnosis
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Debrief

Debrief
People are often amazed when they do this, at how much accurate
information they get about the other person’s experience. Because
your physiology is directly related to the state you’re in, the feel-
ings you’re having, then if someone is experiencing a particular
emotion, by adopting the same physiology as that person, you
will experience the same feelings. Some people also have a good
idea of what the event was, and the other person exclaims, “Wow!
Are you psychic?” That is an indication of how much we commu-
nicate with our physiology.
Once people have established rapport in an exercise, they will
continue matching the other person’s physiology while giving
feedback or chatting after they have finished. This is good. They
carry on exploring the relationship, and expand their conversa-
tion. You as the trainer may even have a problem getting them
back: “We’re starting again!” and they are still chatting away.
This exercise may seem contrived, because it is making conscious
that which normally happens unconsciously. But to learn how to
do this, you need to be consciously aware of what you are doing.
We all do this matching anyway, but we don’t realise how it
builds rapport. In this exercise, you consciously know, “This per-
son is building rapport with me”. In the future you will occasion-
ally notice that you are matching people. Fine. Then you can go
back to doing it unconsciously.
When first matching people, you might think it would be so obvi-
ous to them that they would ask, “Why are you doing the same
thing as I am?” Having learned that anything to do with some-
one’s physiology is completely out of conscious awareness, we
decided to test it by copying people’s physiology to a ridiculous
extreme, all the time feeling uncomfortable, and thinking, “They
must notice. They’re bound to say something.” But no one ever
noticed. In general people aren’t consciously aware of what they
are doing with their own physiology, let alone what someone else
is doing with theirs.

Related posts:

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  3. Definitions of rapport Definitions of rapport Let’s look at some definitions: Rapport is...
  4. Breaking Rapport Breaking Rapport You don’t want to have rapport all the...
  5. Relaying Rapport Relaying Rapport An example of using matching happened when David...

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