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Relaying Rapport

Relaying Rapport
An example of using matching happened when David was doing
a training for a major organisation and he was introduced to the
group by the marketing director. The director stood up and said a
little bit about the training, and introduced David. As the director
was talking he used some idiosyncratic gestures: his hands were
out, palms forward, and he was rotating them side to side, as if he
was waving at the audience. He had great control of the group,
and great rapport with them. It was obvious they had a lot of
respect for him.
When he finished, David went over and stood exactly where he
had been standing, adopted the same physiology, and started giv-
ing the overview of the training. He used that same hand
gestures, and instantly got the same response from the audience.
Now since David had had many years of training experience, he
got it straight away. Once he had rapport - and he could see that
response in his peripheral vision - he went back to his stool and
he started the training. But only after he knew he had all of the
rapport, all of the attention, and all of the respect that the market-
ing director had got, and had transferred it all to himself.
Doing something like that accelerates your ability to quickly
establish rapport with a group of strangers. The secret is to utilise
everything that happens. ‘Utilise’ simply means that you accept
what is happening, rather than trying to ignore or deny it. In any
training or presentation there are going to be interruptions: people
wandering in, noises off, things falling over, phones ringing. By
simply accepting them - and often you will find that they will be
weirdly appropriate to what you are doing at the time - making a
quick comment, you can move on, which will be far better than
trying to fight against the intrusion. When you are also in rapport
with your environment in this way, then it is no big deal.
Everything you do creates a result. By increasing your awareness
you are learning to calibrate to the results you are creating: the
states you are eliciting, the behaviours you are triggering, the
responses you are getting. By calibrating to your results, you can
then do more of what works on purpose, so that you can get the
results you want more efficiently.

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